Surviving Through the Surging Stages of Parenting
Deep within my bones, I’m proud to be their mama. I look at each beautiful child as they sleep and my heart skips a beat. These little people have stretched my perspective to something unrecognizable of my former self. To be a mother is indeed to be selfless. All of the surging stages of parenting have pushed my core.
And, beyond the repetition, much past the frustrations and the growing pains, the reality is, I am home. Like a warrior called to the front lines, I’m where I’m meant to be.
So, what do I do next?
I often ask myself, “What’s the next move?” and, “Are there ways to work around this?”
My brain tells me I should be happy but I’m so anxious about the current state of things that I can’t let go. The house is dirty. There are toys everywhere. My child wants me to play with them… I have no time.
I’m doing what I have to do, but I don’t feel content.
But, let me tell you something. The stages of parenting fluctuate like a deflating balloon. There’s so little that we actually have control over. Only after discovering the real truth of motherhood did I understand.
Does this mean we are hopeless?
In fact, with a small adjustment to our thinking, we can be empowered. We can build our confidence and learn to trust our instincts.
By learning about what’s really going on.
We have to believe more in ourselves. You became a mother because our God is faithful. He believes in you. Even though you feel overwhelmed by the multiple stages of parenting that you’re in, it will become easier. All we honestly need to do is slow down and realize it.
Enough is enough.
We were taught that more is more. Additionally, somewhere out there, is a thing we can purchase to make it all better. We’re pushed to believe that perfect is a goal.
Instead, I inspire you to practice more holistic approaches. Try using one of the steps below.
1. Find the joy
First, find the joy. I want you to get a pen and a piece of paper. Sit in an empty room and write 5 things that make you happy. Even if it takes a while to think up, take the time to reflect.
It doesn’t have to be anything big.
For example, five things that make me happy are:
- The smell of books
- Touching plants, especially herbs and spices
- Hearing my children laugh
- Watching my husband work on a project
- Cooking for friends and family
Once you are done, look over your list. Ask yourself why these particular things make you feel joy. Then, ask yourself what similar attributes could be imitated.
For instance, my love for the smell of books could be recreated by stationary or calendars. From there, using paper as a textile, I remember the good feeling while holding my children’s homework. The web of joyful things begins to weave itself in and around more and more things.
Suddenly, little bits of joy can be found abundantly and present throughout most situations.
2. Make your life easier
A large obstacle to anyone with a problem is the inability to utilize resources. It’s either because they don’t know how, or because they do not have. If you look at every problem objectively, rather emotionally, it’s easier to overcome them.
Life will make you cry, but you’re not alone.
And, fortunately, problems are never permanent. Problems go away with action. Make your life easier and solve your problems systematically.
If you’re exhausted and need dinner for the family, there is nothing wrong with ordering delivery. Likewise, if you’re burdened by constantly cleaning up, create designated places for eating or playing. Every one of the stages of parenting will have its own unique set of challenges. It’s our job to make it through without losing our sanity.
Clear the clutter. Hire the help. Decline the activity sometimes.
Use the resources around you to tackle the hurdles of parenting.
3. Know that empathy is powerful
Have you ever noticed that the moment you start a chore is the same moment your child needs you most? A child in need of attention is mainly a child in need of your empathy.
Realistically speaking, we cannot coddle our children 24 hours a day. They will never learn to use their imaginations if we unceasingly lead the way.
But what about the strongly attached child that constantly needs us?
While it’s natural for us to step closer to a child that seems needy, it may not be the best solution. In fact, there’s the possibility it will prolong the problem. If you’ve already played, feed, and hugged your child, and they’re still not satisfied, there’s something else that’s lacking. Talking to your child about how they feel will lead you in the right direction.
Need help getting started? The truth will empower you!
Grab this free PDF booklet. Download now.
The stages of parenting will push us further than we ever thought we could go. I know, because I’m traveling down that road, too. By using the three steps above, along with the booklet, you will gain the perspective to have a happier mindset.
As always, through these busy years when our hands are full, it’s the best time to live our lives to the fullest.