I’ve Mixed Tears with Long-suffering and Motherhood
There are three precious children that depend on me to be their mother. Yet, I still have challenges that withdraw my attention, my desire, and my happiness. What do I do when I feel like I’ve tried everything? No matter my efforts to keep life “normal”, every day still feels like a struggle. Some days it’s the extreme number of temper tantrums that wipe me out; others days it’s just plain out fatigue. It all feels like it’s been going on for centuries when in reality, I know that it has not. Where is my joy? How do I get it back?
In this post about long-suffering and motherhood, I describe my current story and how other factors are affecting the everyday outcomes. Additionally, I provide 10 tips that are helping me cope.
Caution: The content in this post contains several triggers and emotional recollections.
Why am I failing?
It’s been 10 days since my sinus infection started. Truth be told, every day avails a new disheartening symptom. Even though my sweet husband breaks his back to help the minute he gets home, lately, he’s had to work sunup to sundown to keep our family of five afloat. I’ve been in solitude, overcome with 3 vivacious children who at one point were sick too, and recovered.
Taking every medication known to man, all additionally ineffective on my weak body, I’m starting to break down. My eyes are pink. My head, my neck, and my skin throb. Furthermore, my chest is filled with constant pressure and what seems like wetness, yet my oxygen levels read ok. Don’t even get me started on my nose or ears.
Fortunately, there were periods of support. The kids were picked up last weekend by their loving grandparents. It left me to manage my symptoms on my own while my hubby completed his military drill weekend. Three births left me with severe incontinence after every powerful coughing session, so to say that things were messy would be an understatement.
Being awake all night and day gave me plenty of time to think.
I looked unrecognizable but further than that my mental state was in a deep dark valley. Since horizontal sleep was nearly impossible, I typically propped myself on the upright cushions of the couch. I’d doze off in 20-minute intervals before being attacked by another uncontrollable coughing fit. Being awake all night and day gave me plenty of time to think. The terms long-suffering and motherhood were the most consuming of my thoughts. It really felt like everyone was doing their part but me.
My house has witnessed a lot of long-suffering and motherhood
Currently, as I wander the house in search of comfort, my mind flashes back to events that occurred in each room. The large bathroom is where I had my miscarriage. The garage is where we had the start of our house fire. My daughters’ room is where I breastfeed my middle child so unsuccessfully that my nipples were close to falling off.
And better yet, my son’s room is where I packed a garbage bag of his toys because of his behavior and I witnessed him scream uncontrollably. This one hurts the most because it was an intentional action related to parenting, not just something that happened. Indeed, there has been a lot of circumstances in the past. None-the-less, as I look around at my home’s surrounding walls, I am concurrently reminded of the after effects of each and every event.
Something would happen.
I would pray.
God would reveal His grace.
Time and time again I’ve watched
Time and time again I’ve watched how The Lord has poured His mercy and transitioned us away from tribulation. Troubles happen but we must remember we are never alone. When parenting is complicated with sickness, emotions, or anything else under the sun, we must stand strong. Too many times I’ve read articles promising to help sleep-deprived mothers, ADHD households, and even multiple birth parents; however, when it all boils down, God is the only source of mercy.
When it all boils down, God is the only source of mercy.
I understand that you and I may have different faiths. However, I would be doing a great injustice if I didn’t honor Him in every way I can. And, to clarify, my triumphs did not come to me because I am a Christain. God’s grace extends to everyone freely.
If you feel like you’re about to give up
Even if you don’t know exactly what to say. Even if you feel that time is up.
I’ve mixed tears with long-suffering and motherhood for several years and praying is the sole thing that gives me hope.
What if you are already praying and nothing is changing?
Be patient. The meaning of time to God is not the same as the meaning of time to us. Pray unceasingly, even in the midst of a painful situation. Understand that God loves you and can see the entire picture (that in which you can’t).
And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. – Jeremiah 29:11
How to patiently wait
If you feel like your anxiety is going through the roof try some of these steps:
- Talk to a trusted friend about it.
- Access if there is something you’ve missed to correct the situation.
- Ask God for strength, wisdom, and discernment.
- Take a moment to think about the situation from a troubleshooting perspective.
- Communicate with those around you.
- Remember that things can change. Even if it’s been a significant amount of time, it is not permanent.
- Look at old baby pictures and things that make you happy.
- Find a productive hobby to distract from the pain.
- Tell others you appreciate the help they have done.
- If an illness is the main factor, allow yourself to rest as much as possible.
I’m still in a bit of pain now, however, I’m leaning heavily on God’s word to gain perspective about long-suffering. Please say a prayer for me; and, if you feel the need, contact me so I can pray for you. It’s always difficult to talk about long-suffering and motherhood but I do feel it’s necessary. We do not want to add fuel to anxieties or dwell. Instead, let’s spread a message of hope and the Good News of what God’s mercy can do.
Until next time, when your hands are full, live your life to the fullest.