Because My Husband Works All Day and I Need to Survive

Because My Husband Works All Day and I Need to Survive

Motherhood. What does it equate to for you? When asked this question I remanence on my little people, who give the best hugs, yet also provide me with a fair share of messes. Motherhood leaves me trying to balance my freelancing,  housework, education, all while remaining patient enough to make it to bedtime. Sometimes, it can be a bit much. Sometimes, it is draining, especially when my husband works all day.

I’ve cycled through emergency room visits, nighttime bed shuffling, and multiple failures.

Motherhood is definitely the rollercoaster ride I never signed up for. Awestricken and full of thoughts, it can be hard to see the blessings.

My husband works 12 hours shifts

He does his job with diligence and he sincerely tries when he IS home. He makes the kids laugh more than I ever could, and he comforts me after they go to sleep.

With all that being said, my husband works all day and I still need to survive.

Since every household has a unique approach to creating stronger family bonds, there is no specific formula. Nevertheless, I’ve learned a thing or two over the years. Continue reading as I share my biggest tips for staying at home with the kids.

This pin was created because my husband works all day and I need to survive. I've gathered the top parenting tips that have helped me as a SAHM.  Being outnumbered by toddlers can make the days seem long and like motherhood is lonely. This post is for any stay at home mom about to lose her sanity. Even if your husband works all day, with all kinds of crazy hours, find ways to put the joy back in parenting.

Accept that this is the reality

This is the reality. In a previous post about finding SAHM happiness, I explained that you are going to have to deal with this head-on. And, just because this IS reality, it doesn’t mean it’s bad.

Is it overwhelming at times? Yes.

Is it not so fun or redundant? Yes, too.

However, once you come to the realization that motherhood in the raw is a byproduct of great potential, you will learn to make peace with the circumstances.

There are some really joyful moments within motherhood. The trick to surviving when your husband works all day is to keep your eyes open for them.

Because my husband works all day, I have created a serene place at home. This includes lots of hanging plants. Want other parenting tips on managing the home with kids? Keep reading.
Because my husband works all day, I have created a serene place at home. This includes lots of hanging plants. Want other parenting tips on managing the home with kids? Keep reading.

Staying home with the kids

I know a lot of places preach routine. It makes me cringe. Don’t get me wrong, routines are helpful.

However, if you’re in a rut, the last thing you need is repetition.

Sometimes you hear so much rhetoric about staying on a schedule that it will truly drive you insane.

Make your time alone with your children less hectic by learning to enjoy the days naturally.

How being flexible worked for me

One day, my husband called me at lunch. He said he had to work late. I was so wrapped up in how alone I would be that I cried as soon as I hung up the phone.

A few hours later, it was time to pick up the older kids from school. Here we go I thought.

On the course of outnumbered and overworked. 

I was like a union worker ready to go on strike.

Then, like a divine blessing, one of the kids said, “Mom, can we have pancakes for dinner?”

I paused.

Let someone else cook?

Allow the kids to stuff their faces with chocolate chip waffles and the best banana nut pancakes known to man?

Plus, I don’t have to clean up!?!?!

It seemed so ingenious.

I said, “Yes,” and it turned out to be a wonderful experience.

Ideas to add flexibility to your day

Thinking outside the box when your husband works all day can be a sanity saver.

Here are some other things you can try:

  • Put up a tent in the living room and have movie time
  • Have the kids make a car out of a cardboard box
  • Pull out the camera and encourage everyone to make funny faces
  • Put on your best musical tunes and sing a little karaoke
  • Let them wear their costumes even if it’s not Halloween
  • Have a treasure hunt using pretend jewels
  • Bake something sweet
  • Pull out the crayons
Keeping the kids entertained while my husband works all day.
Keeping the kids entertained while my husband works all day.

Just add water

If it’s sunny, and not too cold, head outside with the water hose. Have the kids tend to your garden and play with the water.

Inevitably, they are going to get wet. At the same time, they are going to have fun. 

There’s something about the sunshine and the feeling of the water that creates laughter. That’s what surviving motherhood is all about. Change the repetitious feelings and trade them for happy ones.

Order pizza, pancakes, Chipotle, or whatever

Take the stress off of cooking and order out. Let a service like Uber Eats deliver your food. There are several places to chose from. I’ll even give you a referral code for $5 off your first two orders. Type eats-fullestmui as an UberEats promo code to redeem.

Get together with friends or family

There’s strength in numbers. Meeting with a friend (or family member) that also has a young one can make a huge difference in your social receptors.

In fact, those that meet with friends at least once a week report that they feel less isolated.

Now, I get it. For those that are introverted, or just like to do things on their own, this can seem like a hassle.

Trying to coordinate two adults to dress presentable and carry their kids with them is a big task. However, trust me when I say, going out of the house at least once a week will completely brighten your mood. Once you make it a habit to be social, it will shortly take effect.

The kids love to bring out all the toys when we have extended time at home. When my husband works all day, I allow flexibility with activities.
The kids love to bring out all the toys when we have extended time at home. When my husband works all day, I allow flexibility with activities.

Set clear expectations

This one will take all of your strength to muster; but with consistency, will lead to thriving results.

You need boundaries. The children need boundaries.

No hovering in, or around, the bathroom when you clearly need privacy.

If your child is under three, then set up a safe location (ideally their room), and introduce something to occupy them for 15 minutes. Use the bathroom, take a shower, anything you need to do in that burst of time.

By explaining that you are going to take a short break, your older children should respect that and make due.

Your husband works all day but you still should, at a minimum, attend to hygiene matters without interruption.

Don’t forget about your hubby

Sure, you’re trying to do your best and make it through motherhood. We can get so wrapped up in doing it on our own, that we completely disregard our husbands.

Take time to honor your spouse, and don’t forget to talk as often as possible.

Tell him your feelings and come up with solutions together.

It’s not a time to complain, it’s a time to communicate with candor, as well as honesty. As much as you feel left alone, he simultaneously feels like missing he’s out. It’s a two-fold problem that can be solved with understanding.

My husband works all day so it's three kids against one mom. Survival of the fittest is no parenting joke.
My husband works all day so it’s three kids against one mom. Survival of the fittest is no parenting joke.

Rock motherhood hard

The saying is true. The days are long but the years are short. Using the above tips, I want you to rock this motherhood thing HARD. Know you are doing all you can and you were chosen for a reason.

Love your life as you love your children. And, when your hands are full, know it’s the best time to live your life to the fullest.

Take care.

Sincerely,

Fullest Mom

Tagged with: ,

25 comments

  • Jordan | Read. Eat. Repeat.

    I cherish the time between their bedtime and mine too! I also get up before they do and we have a mandated quiet time every afternoon for 1-2 hours (depending on what’s going on and how everyone is behaving). That lets me squeeze in exercise, shower, reading time, blogging time, and husband time – most days. Some days all bets are off, lol.

    Jordan | Read. Eat. Repeat.
    • Post authorFullestMom

      That is the way I function, too. My youngest loves nap time so it typically goes smooth. There have been times when she wants me to lay with her and then I fall asleep too. All for the best I suppose 🙂

      FullestMom
  • Destinee Johnson

    I love this! I often joke about wanting to be a stay at home mom “when I grow up”, and honestly I do, but this helped to see why it really isn’t a joke at all.

    Destinee Johnson
    • Post authorFullestMom

      I believe every person has a different path. I really enjoy the time and opportunities that come up by staying at home. At the same time, there’s always been a spark for entrepreneurship in my blood, and that is why I began writing for clients. It’s all about balance and finding what works specifically for you.

      FullestMom
  • Rachel

    These are great tips! Mommin’ ain’t easy. I hate being stuck in the house during the winter! That’s probably the hardest thing for me!

    Rachel
    • Post authorFullestMom

      Cabin fever is no joke. The kids have so much energy too. Lots of safe movement activities for the indoors will help. Thank you for your comments and have a blessed day.

      FullestMom
  • Keala

    Your list is perfect. So relatable. As a mom of tow Little’s this hits home for sure. I agree 100%. Sometimes it’s survival mode til
    Bedtime. Haha

    Keala
    • Post authorFullestMom

      LOL, for sure. But hey, if they wake up the next day with a smile and drive to do it all over again, you know you did something right 🙂

      FullestMom
  • Rose

    You preseneed some fun tips and I know it will be helpful to those overwhelmed moms. I have gotten better at figuring out stuff for us all to do and be happy about it. It takes time to find that routine/sanity though.

    Rose
    • Post authorFullestMom

      It does. It also involves an understanding that your household and happiness are unique. Every parent finds a different path. All the best to you and big hugs to your littles.

      FullestMom
  • Melanie

    It’s so important to get out of the house! I try to at least once a day…. just take a walk around the block, meet up with a friend for lunch, have dinner with someone from church, meet up with friends at the park… even when it’s a hassle, it brightens my mood and helps me know that I’m not alone in this.

    Melanie
    • Post authorFullestMom

      I agree. A change in environment makes a big difference. Very good tip.

      FullestMom
  • Miranda @Just Raising the Bahr

    This post is GOLD. Being a SAHM is beyond difficult. The loneliness, the stress. We have all been there. Stay strong momma. <3

    Miranda @Just Raising the Bahr
    • Post authorFullestMom

      Thank you Miranda. You as well. xoxo

      FullestMom
  • jhilmil

    Such a beautiful post, I agree that dad’s working whole day miss all the family and kids fun a lot. So its a missing from both sides. I loved the idea of putting up tent and watch a movie and dress up even if its not halloween! You have lovely kids.

    jhilmil
    • Post authorFullestMom

      The indoor tent is so much fun. Usually, we have to keep it up for several days because the littles love it so much.

      FullestMom
  • bonjourchiara

    I don’t have kids but I live abroad far from my family, with my husband who works soooo much. Sometimes I feel lost being always alone. I work for home so yes there are some days that are hard! xx

    bonjourchiara
    • Post authorFullestMom

      I hope you find some peace and prospective from this article. Remember you can always reach out if needed. We support you.

      FullestMom
  • Sarah

    As a single mom of many, these are great! I highly recommend the consistency and clear expectations. It’s the only way I can function in my home.

    Sarah
    • Post authorFullestMom

      Thank you Sarah! Keep it up mama.

      FullestMom
  • Allison

    What a beautiful post that truly spoke to me (as I’m about 8 months into this WAHM thing now). Loved your insight, especially about coming to peace that THIS is my reality. XO

    Allison
    • Post authorFullestMom

      That was my biggest hurdle. Staying home was such a difference from what I was used to. Instead of managing a group of adults and a business, I was managing children and a home. Completely different dynamic. I am happy this post spoke to you. Wishing you all the best.

      FullestMom
  • ohmummymia

    What a lovely ideas! I like that one with making a car from a box I need to try it with my son

    ohmummymia
    • Post authorFullestMom

      They have so much fun with boxes, and ironically usually forget about the toy. LOL. Take care mama. Big hugs for your little one.

      FullestMom
  • Pingback: Make Your Home a Sanctuary That Thrives Life and Happiness – Fullest Mom (Edit)

Comments are closed.