Teaching Your Child Not to Fear, Using Assertion in Their Words

Teaching your child not to fear, using assertion in their words

Teaching your child not to fear, using assertion in their words

As far as I can remember, and as long as my middle child has known how to speak, she has been pretty straightforward. It got me questioning whether this was a good, or a bad, thing. Are there benefits to teaching a child not to fear while using assertion in their words? I mean,  with no understatement… she is BOLD.

For example, she’ll say how it’s “not acceptable” for her younger sister to slobber while teething because it’s “yucky”. Or, she’ll tell me how she feels she deserves a snack. As fun as all her talk is, there are times (numerous times), when her expression goes against my liking. But, through it all, it is vital for me to continue teaching my child not to fear.

Teach Your Child Not to Fear. Show them how to respectfully speak up and assert themselves. Proper manners for toddlers start with your example. Show them proper ways on how to express their emotions.
Teach Your Child Not to Fear. Show them how to respectfully speak up and assert themselves. Proper manners for toddlers start with your example. Show them proper ways on how to express their emotions.

Why?

Because we need to think of the bigger picture, not just the immediate solution. Since I don’t like whining, I tend to have a low tolerance when her voice gets all squeaky. However, that doesn’t that mean she can’t talk. It’s my role as the parent to explain that her tone is not appropriate; but, by no means am I going to cut her delivery completely off. Instead, I’m going to calmly direct her to a more sustained vocal projection, that way she can communicate clearly and effectively.

How?

By slowing down, looking at them face to face, and going to their level. Furthermore, I take many deep breaths. Again, look at the big picture. By showing your child how to speak calmly, yet assertively, they can actively take control of their emotions. Likewise, they can apply their skills for use with others outside their family. The desired end result should be clear in your mind and help you work through any activating events.

Before you yell at your child or aggressively tell them to hush, refer back to your lifelong goals for them. Pausing and remembering the long-term effects of allowing your child to speak up for themselves always does the trick for me.

When should you teach your child not to fear?

Now.

And, just so we’re clear, I’m not advocating having a child that has no reverence for authority or elders. I’m just explaining that it’s good to teach your child not to fear the art of effective communication. Even if you feel it’s never happened before, you can change that. A simple game of practice is all it takes.

For starters, I like to ask my child things like, “Do you want an orange or banana?” They’ll say, “Orange.” I’ll repeat back, “Ok, one banana coming up.” They’ll look and me and laugh. Then they’ll immediately correct me and I’ll end with the words, “You know what, you’re absolutely right. Thank you for kindly explaining to me the right thing.” It’s an easy confidence builder that can be done randomly; and, the underlying effects last forever.

In conclusion, I want to thank you.

Lastly, we want to close this article by saying it’s not easy to discuss child assertion. I thank you for reading all the to the end and keeping an open mind. With that being said, every family dynamic is different, and you must ultimately do what is most positive for yours. I’d love to hear your opinions on teaching your child not to fear, let me know in the comments below. If you’d like to read other mommy tips, click the link here. Lastly, I have a pretty nifty newsletter that you should sign up for, too.

As always, when your hands are full, live your life to the fullest.

Sincerely,

Fullest Mom

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8 comments

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  • Autumn J

    I agree, if God wanted robots to do what He said when He said it He would’ve given us free will. When we understand the guidelines are there for our good we can live in freedom of them not imprisonment.
    I know not all parents are Christians but isn’t that what we want to relay to our children. True love not conditional💗
    I’m so judged for this as a parent at times, yes we should punish for bad behavior but let us never “beat there will out of them”.
    It is that will that speaks against pier pressure & stands for what’s right in this world❣
    #kingdomkids

    Autumn J
    • Post authorFullestMom

      Amen. I have thought so many times about this subject and keep reverting back to the same conclusion. A child’s personality is instilled by God. Their will is part of that. Spare the rod and spoil the child is a very important quote but often misinterpreted. It is a shepherd’s rod that is leading the flock, not a butcher’s.

      Thank you dear mama for reading and commenting.

      FullestMom
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  • Leah

    You made some great points! I’ve never thought of doing this with my children, but teaching them clear communication skills is so important! I remember that once in highschool, I was too timid to ask the teacher something. A group of guys noticed, and they weren’t very nice to me about it. I don’t want my daughter to go through the same thing!

    Leah
    • Post authorFullestMom

      I went through similar situations as a child; and as you’ve said, I don’t want my children to go through the same. We never know where our paths will take us. We can’t control everything. But, as parents, we can do our best to teach. Each three of my children are different. They react to the same situation in three different ways. As long as we try to instill the basics in a positive way, we give them the best possible chance for success. Thank you for commenting. Hope to see your thoughts on more posts.

      FullestMom
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